Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
