Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
