You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
wakey wakey hands off snakey
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
