I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
