Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
