Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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