I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
