He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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