Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This baby is an asshole
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
