on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
