i just google imaged poop.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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