woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
