If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
