Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
