4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
