i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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