you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
