We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
