your room smells of hookers.
And success
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
