Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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