I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
