If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
