people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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