I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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