Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
