dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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