You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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