I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
