I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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