All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
