Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Randomize
