the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
