We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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