I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We are two peas in an std pod
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
