There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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