i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
