Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
