Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
