3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
