I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
