why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
