They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
