I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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