So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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