just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
