I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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