.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
