at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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