There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The uberlube is also flammable
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
