I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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